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Stop the World, I’m Getting Off! (Or, at least stop Massachusetts)

Here in the People’s Republic of Massachusetts, this guy was arrested and convicted for “drunk driving,” because he was sitting in his car, drunk, while the key was in the ignition with the car engine’s electrical system on but the engine itself off. The dingbats, imbeciles, and ignoramuses of the Massachusetts Appeals Court ruled this week to uphold his conviction.

So. This guy was arrested and convicted for, and will be thrown in jail for, “drunk driving,” or “driving under the influence,” even though he … wasn’t driving.

Okay, okay, the actual wording of the law is “operating under the influence,” but they mean driving, and “drunk driving.” According to the Boston Globe,

“We conclude that, as matter of law, the evidence that the defendant . . . turned the ignition key — an act which the jury could have found to be the first step in a sequence to set in motion the motive power of the vehicle — was sufficient to permit the jury to conclude that he ‘operated’ the motor vehicle,’’ the court said.

He operated. Oooo. (Does that mean they will arrest surgeons, too?)

Hmmm. Now, I know this is Massachusetts, the state that reelected Ted Kennedy for 40+ years, after all, I know. And that gave us Michael Dukakis, Willard Romney, and Barney Frank, I know, I know.

But does this mean they will arrest you for “texting while driving,” too, just because of merely sitting in your car texting, but not even driving? (Yes, that’s what this means, and more.)

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